Tiger parenting is a term that became popular in the early 2010s and refers to a style of parenting characterized by strict, demanding, and highly involved parenting, often associated with some Asian cultures. This type of parenting emphasizes academic achievement and is often seen as a way to secure a better future for the child. However, this type of parenting has also been criticized for its potential to do more harm than good, such as causing stress and anxiety in children. It is typically marked by high expectations, rigorous academic and extracurricular achievement, and a focus on discipline and obedience. On the other hand, there are also parents who believe that too much focus on academic achievement can be detrimental to a child’s development. These parents believe that children should be encouraged to explore their interests and pursue hobbies, not just focus on academic achievement. They also believe that children should be given the opportunity to explore and make mistakes, without fear of negative consequences.
The term was popularized by “Ms. Amy Chua”, an American corporate lawyer, legal scholar, a professor and author of the book “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother,” in which she discussed her own parenting style and the cultural influences behind it. She argued that parents should demand excellence and strict obedience from their children, and that failure to meet these expectations should be met with punishment. Her book sparked debate among parents, raising questions about what level of discipline is appropriate and the consequences of too much pressure.
Let’s take a look at some of the basics of Tiger parenting in order to understand it better.
What – Why & How of Tiger Parenting:
- Parents set extremely high standards for their children in terms of academic performance, behavior, and extracurricular activities.
- They closely supervise and control their children's lives, often organizing and managing their daily schedules.
- Success is often defined in terms of top grades, musical or sports achievements, or other forms of external validation.
- Discipline is often maintained through strict rules, punishment, and an expectation of unquestioning obedience.
- Children may have limited autonomy in decision-making, with parents making choices on their behalf.
- Education is a top priority, and parents may push their children to excel academically from a young age.
It’s important to note that while the term “tiger parenting” is often associated with certain cultural stereotypes, not all parents within these cultures follow this parenting style, and there is a wide range of parenting practices. Additionally, there is ongoing debate about the effectiveness and potential drawbacks of this parenting approach. While some argue that it can lead to high-achieving children, others contend that it may result in stress, anxiety, and strained parent-child relationships.
This style of parenting, though characterized by strict discipline, high expectations, and an emphasis on academic and extracurricular achievement, has both advantages and disadvantages. Whether it is advisable depends on various factors, including the child’s temperament, cultural context, and the degree to which the parenting style is applied. Here are some of the advantages and disadvantages of tiger parenting:
Advantages of Tiger Parenting:
- High Achievement: Tiger parenting can lead to high academic and extracurricular achievement. Children raised in this environment often excel in their pursuits. This success is often attributed to the level of parental involvement and pressure placed on their children. Parents often expect their children to excel in their studies and extracurricular activities, and are willing to provide the necessary resources and support to ensure their success.
- Strong Work Ethic: Children are taught the value of hard work, perseverance, and dedication to their goals. This encourages them to put in the effort needed to achieve their dreams. They learn the importance of setting realistic goals and having a positive attitude. They are also taught the importance of setting and achieving small goals in order to stay motivated and on track.
- Discipline: Strict rules and discipline can help instil self-discipline and responsibility in children. This teaches them to work systematically and to be organized. It also encourages them to take initiative and be accountable for their actions. Finally, it helps them to develop a sense of self-discipline and responsibility.
- Structured Environment: A highly organized and structured environment can provide stability and predictability for children. This helps them feel secure and confident in their abilities. It also allows them to focus more on learning and developing their skills. A structured environment can also help to foster a sense of responsibility and ownership.
- Preparation for Success: Some argue that tiger parenting can prepare children for the competitive nature of the real world and equip them with valuable skills. It encourages children to be independent, goal-oriented, and resilient. It also teaches them to take responsibility for their actions and strive for excellence. Tiger parenting can help children become successful adults.
Disadvantages of Tiger Parenting:
- Stress and Anxiety: The intense pressure to excel academically and in other pursuits can lead to stress, anxiety, and mental health issues in children. This can lead to lower grades, difficulty concentrating, and avoiding activities. It can also lead to physical and mental health issues, such as headaches, digestive problems, and even depression.
- Strained Parent-Child Relationships: The strict and demanding nature of tiger parenting can strain parent-child relationships, leading to resentment and a lack of emotional connection. This can also lead to children feeling overwhelmed and inadequate, and can lead to low self-esteem and a feeling of being unable to please their parents. This can have a negative impact on their academic performance and mental health.
- Limited Autonomy: Children may have limited opportunities for personal growth, creativity, and self-discovery due to the focus on parental control. This can lead to a lack of motivation and lack of initiative in children, which can be detrimental for their future success. Furthermore, it can lead to a lack of self-confidence and a feeling of being unable to make decisions independently.
- Narrow Focus: The emphasis on academic and extracurricular success can lead to a narrow focus on achievement at the expense of personal interests and well-rounded development. With so much pressure to achieve, students often don't have the time or opportunity to focus on their own interests, hobbies, and passions, which are essential to well-rounded development. This can lead to a lack of creativity and a narrow-mindedness that can prevent students from developing their full potential.
- Risk of Rebellion: Some children may rebel against this type of parenting as they grow older, seeking more autonomy and freedom. Without the opportunity to explore and express their own ideas, children may become frustrated and question the authority figures of their parents. This can lead to feelings of resentment and anger, which can be difficult to manage.
When Tiger Parenting May Be Advisable:
Tiger parenting is not universally recommended or necessary for all children. However, there may be specific situations where some elements of this parenting style can be beneficial. It’s essential to understand that the appropriateness of such parenting practices depends on the individual child, cultural context, and specific circumstances.
Here are some scenarios where aspects of tiger parenting may be considered:
- Cultural Expectations: In some cultures, particularly in parts of India, there is a strong emphasis on academic achievement and high educational standards. This is expected of students from a young age, and parents often take a very active role in encouraging their children to pursue higher education. This has created a culture of academic competition, with many students striving to outperform their peers. Due to societal expectations, parents might feel compelled to adopt a more demanding parenting style in such cultural contexts.
- Highly Motivated Children: Some children are naturally highly motivated and thrive under challenging conditions. Such children are able to excel in their studies and are more likely to succeed in their academic pursuits. However, this can lead to a high level of stress, which can have a negative effect on their mental health. Therefore, it is important for parents to be aware of the potential dangers of this culture and to provide support for their children.
- Personalized Approach: Some parents employ elements of tiger parenting as part of a more balanced and personalized approach. This approach emphasizes the importance of setting clear expectations and providing consistent feedback. Parents should also be mindful of their children's individual needs and tailor their approach to each child. Finally, parents should provide their children with emotional support and create an environment in which they can feel safe and secure. They may set high academic standards while also offering emotional support and encouragement.
- Temporary Measures: In certain situations, such as when a child is preparing for a critical academic exam or competition, parents might adopt a more intense approach to help the child focus on their goals during a specific period. This might include setting clear expectations, providing more support, and offering more positive reinforcement. Additionally, parents should also provide breaks, limit distractions, and make sure the child has enough time for other activities.
Even if some aspects of tiger parenting can be effective, parents should be aware of its potential drawbacks and tailor their parenting approach to their child’s needs. To prevent negative consequences such as stress, anxiety, and strained parent-child relationships, it is crucial to strike a balance between high expectations and emotional support.
Tiger parenting is largely anecdotal and there are few case studies available. There has been a great deal of controversy surrounding the concept, and further research is being conducted in this area. The best parenting approach for a child should be determined based on their unique personality, strengths, and weaknesses, and not based on a one-size-fits-all approach. It is generally recommended that parents combine high expectations with emotional support, adaptability, and open communication in order to promote a child’s overall wellbeing and development.
– Makarand Bhatt
The writer of this blog is an experienced Global Career and education advisor, helping parents to plan and manage the global education of their children. You can share your feedback/reviews or connect with him at makarand.bhatt@yahoo.com or +91 99676 38666.
